I suppose you can’t have a baby blog without talking about the birth story.

Ours was surprisingly normal. Dibs woke up around 3am with contractions. I woke up around 5am and noticed she was not in bed. We hung out for about an hour as the contractions grew closer. Keep in mind, we’re pretty clueless on how to time them, even with the iPhone app.

When we determined they were close enough to call the hospital, I thought I’d be a good husband and do it. Mainly because had Dibs done it would have sounded like, “Hi, this is OOOOOooohhhhh, and my contractions are OOOOOooohhhhh.” When I called, no one answered. That’s right, the hospital didn’t answer the phone as my wife is going into labor.
Needless to say, this did not go over well with Dibs. She’s definitely earned the nickname Diabla, folks. She rips the phone out of my hand, calls again and leaves an amazing message.
If there was one thing I learned on Gray’s birthday it was that labor is not like movies.
I was expecting to be rushing to the hospital, weaving in and out of randomly placed Grandma’s crossing the street with walkers. Instead, we drove about 25mph and Dibs yelled at me for every bump we hit.
We finally get to the hospital, after hitting every light, and they tell us it’s not time yet. Really?!
Despite the fact that Dibs couldn’t walk and her contractions were on top of each other, the nurses determined that Gray wasn’t coming out till tomorrow since she was only 3cm dilated. They suggested that we should go home. “Um, y’all want me to take her home like this?”
The nurse decided to admit us, since I probably couldn’t handle her if we went home. Whew…
Dibs had decided that she’d wait for her water to break before she got an epidural. About an hour or so after being admitted, it broke. Shortly after that, she was dilated 5cm. Thanks, nurses.
The epidural wasn’t as bad as she thought, though I’m sure everyone says that.
Shortly after the epidural was administered Dibs passed out. Again, this is not like the movies. I sat beside her holding her hand with one hand, and playing words with friends with the other.
When she woke up an hour or so later, she was dilated 10cm and it was go time.
Epidurals are amazing. Our doctor was busy with another pregnancy a few doors down, who was having a natural birth, and let’s just say get the epidural.
I’d also like to point out how phenomenal our nurses (the delivery nurses, that is) were. They really were incredible.
Dibs was an amazing pusher. So amazing in fact, her and I almost pushed out the baby on our own when our nurse went to see where the doctor was. She left and said, “Just keep pushing.” When she came back she screamed, “Stop pushing!” Dibs literally could have pushed the kid out on her own. We had to wait about 20 minutes for the doc to show up before pushing again.
Also, can I just say, the man’s role is pretty much awkward and useless.
I counted down from 10 while she pushed, told her how amazing she was and held a leg for a bit. Maybe we provide some emotional support, but for the most part we’re useless.
At 5:39 Grayson slid his way out.
I’m not going to try to describe what it was like when we first saw him. No way I can do it justice. It was beyond anything I thought I could feel.
Grayson was a chunky 8lbs – 6oz and 20.5in.
He is all awesome.
I have so much more to say about prelabor things like the classes, picking out diaper bags, strollers, cribs, etc.
There’s also night after the delivery things I need to talk about, as well as bringing Grayson home.
And I will… All in due time.
Thanks for reading by the way.
This is all so different than what I usually write about. AKA… dick and fart jokes.

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