We had some pretty big steps in parenthood happen in consecutive days. I should probably tell you about them.

The first was on Sunday. Dibs, Gray and I got out of the house for longer than 2 hours. The second was Dibs leaving the boys home for her first girl’s night after Grayson was born.

On Sunday, a friend invited us over to his place to watch the Cowboys game. He lives about 3o minutes away in the North Bay, so we were a bit scared. We had milk supply, with an hours worth of traveling, plus you knew he’d be fussy considering it was our first extended trip. Surprisingly, Grayson was fine during the game, despite the abysmal showing from the Cowboys. We fed him right up until we left to his house, and we fed him a few hours into the game. He took down the bottle, and needed more, of course he did. No big deal, right? Marse had her Hooter Hider, and she feed him.

After the game, we had to stop by Babies R Us to pick up a breast pump (we’ve been renting). Inside of Babies R Us is when things got interesting.

I need to briefly preface this story. Leading up to Sunday, Grayson had not pooped in about 3 days. I know you now know where this is all headed. Naturally, we were concerned, since before this poop-lull Grayson had not gone 30 minutes without shitting (I just got a vision of him reading this at age 18 and being like, “Seriously, Dad? You told people about my poop habits?”). The doctor said that if it lasts over 7 days, then we should be concerned.

He starts getting really, really cranky inside of Babies R Us. So, I pick him to see if I can calm him down. “Weird, there’s something wet on my arm,” I think to myself. I pull him away to see an ocean of poop all over me and him. He exploded! There was poop everywhere. It was so bad we had to buy him new clothes. Hell, we threw away most of what he was wearing. Luckily, we were at Babies R Us, right? How all that poo was inside that little body I’ll never know. So I clean him off, clean myself off, change him, change myself (let’s be serious here) and he’s happy again. We’ve just had our first 5 hour excursion!

The next night, Monday, I finally convince Diabla to take a break and go meet some friends for dinner. Monday night was going to be Daddy/Gray night. We’d watch some Monday Night Football, maybe clean up the house a bit and perhaps we’d surprise her with a little treat when she came home for actually leaving the house.

It went really well. Let’s be honest, he slept most of the time in the Baby Bjorn. We watched the game (with my Fantasy Football season basically on the line), and we managed to make Dibs some Chocolate, Chocolate Chip cookies. He started getting pissed off, at what I still don’t know, so I fed him his bottle. The milk storage bags aren’t accurate with the ounces, did you know that? Me either. Thanks to that new fact, I suppose I didn’t give him enough. Here I’m thinking he’s just taken out 4 and half ounces. Well, he didn’t. So I give it all to him. Still though, he’s not happy and none of my tricks are working.

Thankfully, Dibs came home, and he was immediately quiet. Once she held him, all was right in Gray’s world. Either he was really happy to see her, or was totally done with me.

We’re a month in, and things are finally seeming like they’re getting relatively close to normal.

By relatively close, I mean, not even remotely close to normal…